she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
