How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My vagina just clenched in fear
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
