She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
