What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
