____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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