...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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