whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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