My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
