she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
