i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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