i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So vagazzling was a success
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
