I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
