all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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