Do you still have your period?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
