If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
