i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
