ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
