thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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