Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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