I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
