I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
