New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
