just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am spending my child support on dildos
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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