hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
