It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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