It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
