k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
