Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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