Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
