wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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