there was a trapeze. enough said
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I touched a dick in church today
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
