Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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