God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
