The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
BRING THE BAGELS
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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