So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm at about main and main street
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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