Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Green mimosas i think yes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
