ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
