Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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