Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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