Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
