How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
