This is not my ceiling
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
