I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
