just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
