omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
