i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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