they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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