oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
