therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
