I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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