Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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