I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
