just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
