I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
